My 4th Year in Arkansas

         I can't believe that I am going on my 4th year in Arkansas. Not only am I going on that year, it might be my last year. I don't know what to expect in this coming year. I am going into it without a job and without a plan. This past year, through, as been a big blessing in so many ways. Probably one of the best years that I've had in Arkansas. I've seen dreams come true and have learned a lot and grew a lot in Christ. Here is a summery of what my past year was like in Arkansas.
         I've been through three big Bible studies that have changed my life and my way of thinking. One by Beth Moore called "Breaking Free" and another one called "Breathe". The most important things that those two studies have taught me is that I'm beautiful to God when I let go of things and that I need to rest more then I do. I need a Sabbath and that can be any day, not just a Sunday. It could even be a hour or minutes. I just got done with another Bible study called "Discovery Mosaic" where I learn about the church I'm going to. It was interesting and made me love my church even more.
        I have changed church services and hang out with some more people then usual. I have been going to the Saturday night service at 5:00 a lot more. It is good for me because I can be by myself and just think through things. I have been hanging out with the women's ministry more then the singles' ministry. I feel like I can grow more with older and wiser women. I have learned a lot since going to those Bible studies. I have also felt like the people/friends I come in contact with are more my "type" and we have more in common then when I first came here. I feel like I can relate a lot more to them and it is easier to talk to them because of that. It seems like God has put people in my life for certain seasons and this past year I could really tell that.
        I've finished my first year being on anxiety meds. but I'm not going to go into that but it was changed my life a lot. I feel more controlled with everything. I have had a lot of different challenges at work and a lot of different children that have challenged me in a lot of ways. Some tough and some not so tough but really seeing that change in them in a short period of time. I have learned through my job that I am a special person to Christ and that I should be grateful for what I do have in life because not everyone as the things I do. I've just feel like I've became more grateful and more aware of other people.
         This past year has given me the hope for changing and spending more time with other people in the coming year. Getting to know the people that I've wanted to know for years and some new people along with those. My relationship with God has changed to a closer one with the understanding of what love really means along with peace and trust. I have learned to be happy for my friends and pray for them instead of thinking just about me and what I can get out of things. I think I have become more relational this past year more then anything, which is a big step for me. Still trying to work on talking though. :) I know my past job also helped me to see that having ones that you love in your life real means a lot or it should.
           It broke my heart to see those children that can't really love or know how to love but yet we do and sometimes take it for granted. Some points of views that have changed this year are: my views on marriage (more deeper views), friendships, how I am living, why I am here, and what it means for your dreams to come true in real life. Those all sound very deep but it is true. Just this past month I saw what it meant to spend time with old friends and keep up with them. I went on a summer vacation with my college girlfriends and it was a good time. It was good knowing that no matter where I am in life, they are right there with me going through the same things. Even though, we didn't talk much about those things, we knew in a way that there were some things that were bothering us all.
            I have also learned how to prayer more meaningful. By that, I mean for other people like friends then just myself. It is a lot of fun and a challenge in a way when you pray for your friends and other people because then you want to see how they are doing so you ask them and that keeps you connected. It is kind of like you are giving a gift to your friends. You are forgetting about the situations you are in and worrying or praying for them.
            I don't know where this 4th year in Arkansas is going to take me. I have a lot of dreams to fulfill and I'm scared because they are different. I'm planning on stopping the child care way for a bit and going back to college for an OT degree. While doing that, I plan on working somewhere in retail or an office job. Then there are other personal things that I'm going to be working on along with that but I still have a good feeling about this year. Yeah, Arkansas is the home of Wal-Mart but it is also one of the places I love and not just because of that. I have grown some much as a person here. I couldn't think of anywhere else that I would rather do that.
            I would honestly hate to leave this place but if it came to it I would. I think I would be back though sometime. It is full of culture because of Wal-Mart yet it is a very loving place for the outdoors with all its trails and outdoor activities. It is a good place for a single girl like myself to get some new and different experiences but yet be close to home too. It is funny how a place that you saw on the bottom of a water bottle in high school and never thought you would step foot in, yet God had other plans. I will never for get that feeling. Sometimes when you look back, it is funny what thing got you to that place and what made you really stay there ( 1 Cor. 7:17- MSG)
           I better stop or I will continue to go deeper about what it means to live in Arkansas and then people would want to move here. Ok, maybe not but I better not take that chance because I like the small town feeling of a big city.