Remembering My Grandma

          I don't know why this memory is hitting me so hard right now and it all started last night while I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep. I haven't wrote a lot of entries about how I felt about my grandma passing away this past August because honestly I didn't know what to write or how to put it into words plus I was busy. I was looking and starting a new job during that time plus I just got let go at my other job so things were just really busy at the time. Now that I look back on the moments I had with her, there are things I remember and love.
         The one memory out of a lot of memories that I had with her but the only one at the nursing home that I had with her would be during one visit when we went out on the back porch and talked. I, of course, remember all those times I went a visited her in the memory loss unit of the home but that was hard to start with. There was one time we went to the back porch because she loved nature so much. It could be flowers, birds, and really anything. You could see a difference when she was in that small apartment room of her and stuck there, then going outside on the porch with us when we were there.
         I remember that day where I could tell she was getting bad at remembering things and things wouldn't last long. She kept asking questions to figure things out and I think she barely remember who I was. There was still that smile on her face because her daughter was there visiting and she was outdoors near flowers and birds. If I remember right too, I want to say it was Spring but it might have been Fall but either way there were birds singing in the background. I remember exactly where each of us was sitting or near the spots we were sitting.
         My mom (her daughter) and my grandma was sitting beside each other and the chairs were facing the doors but were backed up behind the railing of the porch. I was sitting on the side or a little off to the corner across from them on a chair. My mom was talking about how she should help grandma plant some flowers in those flower boxes on the railing and to see if she could get permission from the staff at the home to do that. That memory stuck with me for some reason and maybe it is because that is how the women in my family have been raised.
         We have either been taught to love children or the outdoors or both in the simplest of ways. It isn't just something that someone gets into the habit of or at least that is how I think of it. It is something that is really past down from generation to generation. My mom is all about the flowers, birds, helping the environment, gardening, and anything else you can think of that has to do with the outdoors. All of my grandparents were like that. They might have showed it in different ways but in their own way they loved being outdoors. I am just thankful I got that habit passed down.
           Just another thing that has been past down to me that I know for sure is my degree and dream. I want to be a homemaker and I love anything to do with Family and Consumer Sciences just like my other grandma (dad's mom). Who I am is really because of my family and I wouldn't be who I am today without them. I remember as a little child, how I took things for granted and complained about work. When I say work I mean working in the garden  or getting up at 3:00 in the morning to go fishing or work on an unfinished house, which I had to do 2 times in my life. Now I wouldn't trade those times for anything and would love to do more of those things more.
            All these thoughts are just thoughts to show that I am growing up and seeing what was and is important in life. I was a fool not to see these things before it was all too late on some things. Don't take life for granted because you are not in charge of it and you have no idea when it will end for anyone.