Won't Know I Am in Love

         I was going to write an entry about how until I get with the right guy and go out a few times that  I won't know I am in love but then I thought about it and that doesn't make sense especially if that guy is a friend of yours. I'm not saying mine is just yet but then again how do we know. I think it is funny that I am writing this entry the day before Valentine's Day because I also promised I wouldn't be so emotional this year but I guess emotional is better then depressed like I have been in the past around this time of year.
          God has given more then I deserve through everything even my closet friendships girls and guys. He has given the encouragement that I needed to get through tough things and to keep me going when I felt like I wanted to give up. That's not all through that He has done. God has also written some life stories that I never will forget and hope that I don't have to forget ever. I thought about all of this because I went to a friend's bridal shower this morning and she shared how her and her soon to be husband met. I will say that it sounds a lot like some of my stories or hope to be stories.
         I want my love story to be like hers and it is strange but as I think on some of them that I have now depending on who God has for me they might be. We can never put God in a box like we do most of the time. I love the part where she said, "Even though we went to the same college, however many acres, we didn't meet until it was time and during some job trips." She also said and I also love this, "God must of had some healing and teaching for both of us to go through until we met each other and got married." I feel like that could be my ever after someday.
         I have and do feel like God has used my time in AR, these 4 years, to heal and give me the experience of a lifetime that otherwise I wouldn't have if I got married when I wanted to or thought I want to. I look at my friends that married young whether in high school or college and I think if I got married then I wouldn't have the experiences and lessons that I have had know. I really believe that God is preparing me for the perfect guy/husband. God is doing that to my future husband too. Like now, I really feel like going back to school and getting a better paying job is one of the many steps in my readiness for marriage along with getting rebaptized and setting my goals straight again.
          I have finally understood what love really is by loving and continuing to love God through it all. Marriage and not marriage. Holy and not so Holy. I also got to wonder if all girls have an idea who their husbands might be before they even talk about it to each other or if I'm the only strange one. I want to wait and am waiting for God's prefect Timing until He says, "Go" but if any women or man knows it is hard to especially when you think you know but yet at the same time you know both of you have more to do before that time comes.
           I was all wrong about "won't know I am in love" because I will but it will take time before it all comes together but for now I just need to live in the moment and enjoy the story that God is making of my life. If I can, support all the people around me even the guys because we never know, if one of our guy friends will be the one. It is neat to look back on my story and see so far what God has done though for me and the people in my life. This Valentine's Day I am finally okay with being content with God being my Love even if I wonder when will "my day" will come about. Girls, we can wonder that but we CANNOT FORGET WHO OUR TRUE LOVE is and that is GOD HIMSELF. All of this that we go through too only make us stronger and better women for the man God has planned to put in our lives.