It has been a long while since I wrote in here. Probably the longest I have ever kept from writing yet I have so many things to write about. I think that was my problem, I didn't know where to start. Things were crazy all around me but they have gotten better. I meant to write this in September but that month flew by.
I want to tell you a little bit about why I picked the title that I did for this entry before I go into the month that I have had because it does have a background to it. It is an embrassing background but yet it is still one. After one of the hardest days ever, I woke up and went to work like I usually did in the mornings. It was after my little boy jumped out of the swings. My co-worker that I worked with in the mornings told me the bad news about his arm being broke. Knowing me the emotions from the day were still bottled up inside me a little bit so after I left my morning shift, I went to Starbucks for a coffee to feel better. Mind you, I was crying out loud to God in my car too. I just had enough of the things going on. I calmed down and went into Starbucks to get a coffee. A women say that I had been crying because my face looked all red and puffy. She told me the title of this entry to encourage me. A complete stranger dotted me, " It won't rain forever." I didn't know what that meant at first but when I got home that day I got to thinking about it.
To me, it meant that things are going to get better and you will get happy again. You can't and won't cry forever. Things will turn around sooner or later. The strange thing about this is everything bad happened on a Weds. when I had Bible study after work. I was crying there and they prayed for me there too. Then it was on that Thursday that that women saw me and said that to me. At a Starbucks, mind you.
September has been my toughest month yet. The kids at the school where I was were just crazy. Everything that could happen did happen. As a school, we had 4 injuries. They were 3 broken bones and one mouth injury. It just seemed like they were one right after the other. One group had a lip bust open and the child's tooth almost go through and the other one was a broken arm. They were just being kids but still.
In my group, I had a boy break his arm and a girl break her finger. While that was happening, I also had a girl with an ear infection. When it rains, it pours. That saying was true last month. It is sad because it is dumb things that they did to get hurt. The two kids in my group broke their bones by playing on the swings. One kid jumped off while swinging really high because his friend dared him to. The kid with the broken finger just fell off the swing while swinging.
The other kid that broke her arm was running on the playground and ran into a pole. Then the last kid I want to talk about was playing in the gym and tripped over another kid and fell on the floor with his face hitting it. He hit the floor hard enough that his tooth almost left a hole in his lip. Last month was just a crazy month and I am glad it is over and that things are changing for the better. If all the injuries weren't enough to deal with, I also had to deal with people making things up about me that weren't true and was questioned a lot about different things.
Although it has been crazy, I have grown stronger though it all. I have noticed different things that I don't think I would have noticed before about myself and even about where I work. One thing about where I work now is that they handle situations like these very differently then where I have worked before. I didn't need to as scared as I was because they understand that they are children and things like these things will happen. The parents also understood that too. I also got a lot of encouragement from the people around me when I needed. They could see that I was upset and they asked me about my feelings. I just had to remember that I wasn't the only one going through all of this, the other teachers were too. Remembering that helped me to be more humble in situations like these in the future and calmer because I know I wasn't alone. I thought back to all the times I was alone in situations like these at other jobs and how I needed to be the stronger one here. Yet, it took a lot out of me because I had a happy face on at work but then when I got home I would start to cry.
I will also say that going through all of these situations have changed me by wanting and needing to help children. There were times that I had to help the child with the broken arm open his snacks or cut/draw for art. I got joy and purpose out of doing that for him. I got to experience what it is like to help children like him even if he needs help for a little bit. Sometimes people might wonder what it is like to help a special needs child. The child with a broke arm might not be a special needs child in the way we think one is but for a short moment that child is one. He might have caused the special needs but he still needs the help with things that he can't do, especially if it is the arm he writes and does things with, which in this case it is. It gave me a new outlook on children like that because working with infants and toddlers, you don't get a lot of those problems because they don't know what it means to be a daredevil yet or peers pushing you do do things, you aren't suppose to do.
I will never forget these past few months. They have grown me in ways that can't even be explained yet. I still have a lot of thoughts and ideas to sort out and put together once I'm done where I am. Some things might take months to put together and some things might take years like some things do. I also know though that I have served my purpose and that if God didn't want me to move on to another school that I wouldn't have the chance to do that. In a way, God is answering a lot of prayers with just this one move and though it will be hard at first, it will be worth it in the end. Like the title says, "It won't rain forever."
I want to tell you a little bit about why I picked the title that I did for this entry before I go into the month that I have had because it does have a background to it. It is an embrassing background but yet it is still one. After one of the hardest days ever, I woke up and went to work like I usually did in the mornings. It was after my little boy jumped out of the swings. My co-worker that I worked with in the mornings told me the bad news about his arm being broke. Knowing me the emotions from the day were still bottled up inside me a little bit so after I left my morning shift, I went to Starbucks for a coffee to feel better. Mind you, I was crying out loud to God in my car too. I just had enough of the things going on. I calmed down and went into Starbucks to get a coffee. A women say that I had been crying because my face looked all red and puffy. She told me the title of this entry to encourage me. A complete stranger dotted me, " It won't rain forever." I didn't know what that meant at first but when I got home that day I got to thinking about it.
To me, it meant that things are going to get better and you will get happy again. You can't and won't cry forever. Things will turn around sooner or later. The strange thing about this is everything bad happened on a Weds. when I had Bible study after work. I was crying there and they prayed for me there too. Then it was on that Thursday that that women saw me and said that to me. At a Starbucks, mind you.
September has been my toughest month yet. The kids at the school where I was were just crazy. Everything that could happen did happen. As a school, we had 4 injuries. They were 3 broken bones and one mouth injury. It just seemed like they were one right after the other. One group had a lip bust open and the child's tooth almost go through and the other one was a broken arm. They were just being kids but still.
In my group, I had a boy break his arm and a girl break her finger. While that was happening, I also had a girl with an ear infection. When it rains, it pours. That saying was true last month. It is sad because it is dumb things that they did to get hurt. The two kids in my group broke their bones by playing on the swings. One kid jumped off while swinging really high because his friend dared him to. The kid with the broken finger just fell off the swing while swinging.
The other kid that broke her arm was running on the playground and ran into a pole. Then the last kid I want to talk about was playing in the gym and tripped over another kid and fell on the floor with his face hitting it. He hit the floor hard enough that his tooth almost left a hole in his lip. Last month was just a crazy month and I am glad it is over and that things are changing for the better. If all the injuries weren't enough to deal with, I also had to deal with people making things up about me that weren't true and was questioned a lot about different things.
Although it has been crazy, I have grown stronger though it all. I have noticed different things that I don't think I would have noticed before about myself and even about where I work. One thing about where I work now is that they handle situations like these very differently then where I have worked before. I didn't need to as scared as I was because they understand that they are children and things like these things will happen. The parents also understood that too. I also got a lot of encouragement from the people around me when I needed. They could see that I was upset and they asked me about my feelings. I just had to remember that I wasn't the only one going through all of this, the other teachers were too. Remembering that helped me to be more humble in situations like these in the future and calmer because I know I wasn't alone. I thought back to all the times I was alone in situations like these at other jobs and how I needed to be the stronger one here. Yet, it took a lot out of me because I had a happy face on at work but then when I got home I would start to cry.
I will also say that going through all of these situations have changed me by wanting and needing to help children. There were times that I had to help the child with the broken arm open his snacks or cut/draw for art. I got joy and purpose out of doing that for him. I got to experience what it is like to help children like him even if he needs help for a little bit. Sometimes people might wonder what it is like to help a special needs child. The child with a broke arm might not be a special needs child in the way we think one is but for a short moment that child is one. He might have caused the special needs but he still needs the help with things that he can't do, especially if it is the arm he writes and does things with, which in this case it is. It gave me a new outlook on children like that because working with infants and toddlers, you don't get a lot of those problems because they don't know what it means to be a daredevil yet or peers pushing you do do things, you aren't suppose to do.
I will never forget these past few months. They have grown me in ways that can't even be explained yet. I still have a lot of thoughts and ideas to sort out and put together once I'm done where I am. Some things might take months to put together and some things might take years like some things do. I also know though that I have served my purpose and that if God didn't want me to move on to another school that I wouldn't have the chance to do that. In a way, God is answering a lot of prayers with just this one move and though it will be hard at first, it will be worth it in the end. Like the title says, "It won't rain forever."
No comments:
Post a Comment