My "Truths" with God's Truths

         Warning: This entry is somewhat personal to me but it is not so personal that I don't mind sharing it. It could be like my long testimony of who I am in Christ and how I got to be that way. It is more of how God lead me to the person I am today. I hope I wrote it where it was simple and no fingers pointed at anyone.

           I feel like I'm not living the life that God has for me right now. I know He has bigger things for me in store. I have been trying to be someone I am not and that is not working so well. God gave me the family, friends, and personality for a reason.
           The truth is "I'm a simple, country girl who can be a stubborn, sassy blonde when it comes to my passions. My passions are children especially children who need help whether they are abused, not wanted, or disable in any way, big or small. You don't want to get me started on any of those topics unless you are ready to hear what I have to say. I am usually quite especially at first when I meet people but when I become friends with people that is when my sassiness beings to show because I feel comfortable around them. I can get mad at you in a min. if the time calls for it. I can be quite and then come across mad if you get on my bad side.
          I love honesty and commitment with anything or anyone. I don't easily give up on anything or anyone. I would rather be real and laughed at then fake and be liked. I really worry a lot and am messed up and broken but that is where God's truths about me comes in handy and true. I am His Princess and always will be. He loves me dearly and will protect me always. I have a lot of fear in me from my past. I need people who will encourages me to be the best that I can be and not bring me down. I do that a lot to myself so I don't need help with it. Friendships are everything to me that is why I take them slow and don't open up right away whether a girlfriend or a guy friend. It takes me awhile to open up no matter who I am friends with.
            I come from a hardworking family that likes children and business. We each have each other's back when needed. We love spending time together and the outdoors. It might get a little confusing when we are all together and tiring at the end but it is fun. We took a lot of trips together growing up and most of them were times spent outdoors.
           I was born in the country but graduated from a small, country school. There were 30 people in my graduating class. Those were the hardest years of my life but I wouldn't be the person I am know without those years. I was a teacher's and superindentant's daughter at that small school. Trying to play that roll and then set one apart as being me was hard. I was never liked for being just me. I was liked because I had the power to "change" things or disliked because of that depending on who I talked to. I wouldn't trade that experience for the world though. Like I said I am who I am because of that. I can make it by myself now because of what I went through in high school. It made me stubborn and to work for what I wanted whether it was changing my image or other little things.
             I always had something spiecal wrong with me whether it was my speech, not being able to take in math, or my anxiety. I worked through every one of those problems. It would be neat to see children that work through their own problems with a little help like I did. That is why I'm thinking of being an OT. I have also always been interested in Autism, sensory processing disorder, and again anxiety.
              I might seem like I have it all together by I really don't. Through all of this, God has been beside me every step of the way and showing me the reasons for everything. There are a lot of ways that I still need to be growing in God and letting Him use me His way instead of my way. His Grace is always enough for me or it should be. I'm not looking at earthly desires but Heavenly ones. My "truths" would match up to God's truths for me if I would just let Him take the lead and trust Him with it. I'm "breaking free" of the past and seeing who I am is who God made me to be for a reason. Everything has a reason behind it. I am sick of being the the same "cycle of life" that I have been in since high school. It is getting me nowhere in the real world. I will get nowhere just thinking about things. I need to be doing them too.
            I'm getting back to the little girl that I use to be and I'm loving it! It is funny how when you grow up worldly things to start to get in the way of seeing and being child like towards God when really that is what we need all the time. To not have a care in this world but to have a care in God and follow Him. I've been captive by sin and the devil for way too long. God knows what He is doing with me so why not trust fully in Him. I will always be prefect in Him and to Him so why do I see myself any other way. I need to focus on God and let everything else gently fade away. I need to turn my eyes upon Jesus and look fully in His wonderful face. :) Will you do that with me? :)